Found in the Rain

By Rosemary Mair

[Note to the reader: The following story was shared by the author during a psychotherapy session with her therapist and later recounted during an interview with a member of the Sacred Story Hub staff.]  

This was a long time ago. I was 21 years old, so 36 years ago.  Prior to that, I was going to different churches trying to figure out what was happening in the world and where I came from … and I just had a lot of questions. One day, after seeing an advertisement on TV for the Kentucky Harvest Feed the Hungry program, I felt really compelled to do something. So I contacted them and asked if we could come down and volunteer and they said, “Absolutely.”  

So the day we left, we were driving down Dorchester Road and it was raining so hard that you could hardly see. I'm coming up to a road crossing and I see a Ryder truck. It was a fairly big moving truck. As I was coming up to it, the truck was coming in front of me. I could see the driver through the windshield and he wasn’t stopping. I don’t know if he was trying to stop, but it didn’t look like it. It was raining and kind of dark. The truck started coming across the street in front of me. I hit the brakes and I screamed, "God!" as loud as I could. And then we came to a stop. I was afraid to open my eyes but when I did, I looked in the rearview mirror and I was on the other side of the truck. The truck was blocking the road.

I jumped out of the car and the guy driving the Ryder truck was out of his truck. We both were standing in this downpour of rain and he just lifted his hands like, “What happened?” And I did the same thing. I was like, “What happened?” We stood there for a little bit because I know I got soaked in the rain. I got back in the car and I was shaking. I was visibly shaking. I was dumbfounded. My husband had really big eyes and he said, “Did you see it?” And I said, “See what?” He said, “The whole road widened. We went in front of the truck. The whole side of the road widened and we went through.” I said, “I didn't see it. I shut my eyes. I thought we were going to hit him dead on.” With the weight of the trailer on the back of the car, I thought there was no way we could stop, and that just really scared me. I didn't know what was going on. I can’t explain it.

I looked in the rearview mirror and the other driver got in his truck and left. I wish I had walked over to him and asked, “What did you see?” I would have loved to have had his perspective but maybe I wasn't supposed to talk to him; maybe I was just supposed to absorb it and have faith and believe that something like this could actually happen.

It's funny because whenever I have doubts now about what I'm doing or where I'm going in life or just small day-to-day things, like asking, “Are these things supposed to be happening?” I don't question it anymore. I think the fact that I was questioning God at the time was interesting because to me, this is what it was about. I don't know about other people's sacred moments but for me, this is what it was. I needed proof. I remember saying out loud, “If you're there, prove it.” And I think maybe He had given me examples and maybe I wasn't listening. I think the advertisement on the TV really opened my eyes to start listening and start following what I was feeling.

I remember I was really happy after that day and after that incident with the Ryder truck. I was thinking, wow, we are really supposed to be doing this. I was going through some rough times a while ago, some trauma that I was trying to face, and suicide was my answer. I know that sounds really deep and off the wall, but it was my answer. Then I started thinking about those moments on the road and I thought - no, I don't think it's my time because if it was my time, I would have been dead that day. I think it's the only thing that has ever stopped me from pursuing it. Something changed in me that day. Before that and for as long as I could remember, I didn’t want to be on this earth. I figured life was too hard and that it would be better for me and for other people if I wasn’t here. That day continues to be the reason I have never pursued ending my life. There is something out there that's bigger than us. It made me really happy to feel that connection.